PARENTING ADVICE: SEVEN STEPS TO BETTER PARENTING

The more information you gather on parenting,the more likely you are going to turn out a better parent than you think.The sophisticated world that we live in now has defiled known child-raising principles and makes it imperative that parents seek out new methods of making the best out our children.The following tips are not all there is to raising children.


1. SEEK GOOD ADVICE

Certainly, raising a child is the most taxing yet fulfilling, and frustrating yet rewarding tasks any human can attempt. Sometimes parents may be buffeted by conflicting emotions the first time the hold a new born child in their arms. Everyone seems to have advice on raising children. In the past, new parents relied on their parents’ example or on their religious convictions to guide them. But in a number of lands, the family unit is decaying and religion has lost its influence. As a result, many parents turn to professional parenting experts for advice. Some of what these experts say is based on sound principles. In other cases, the counsel of such experts can be contradictory and may soon be considered out of date.


2. CREATE A LOVING HOME

Living in this loveless, selfish world strains family bonds. Married couples may find that the financial and emotional demands of raising children make existing marital problems escalate. Children need love and wither without it. Plan regular time together as a family. Married couples also need time alone together. Make wise of time after the children have gone to bed. Keep the romance in your family by regularly expressing affection for each other. Tell the children that you love them.


3. EXERCISE YOUR AUTHORITY

All the way from babyhood to their teen years, children will challenge your right to exert authority over them. Children are quick to learn bad things when their parents are afraid to assert their authority and can be relied upon to give in. Studies show that “children brought up by loving but authoritative parents-those who are supportive of their children yet maintain firm limits excel academically ,develop better social skills, feel good about themselves and are happier overall than kids whose parents are either too lenient or excessively harsh” says parents magazine.



4. DEFINE FAMILY RULES AND ENFORCE THEM PROMPTLY


Defining reasonable limits for your children’s behavior and enforcing those limits take time, effort and perseverance. And children seem to have natural urge to test any such boundaries. Therefore, why not make a written list of the household laws or rules that you feel your children must obey. Some parents suggest limiting such list to just a few rules, maybe five or so. A short list of well chosen house rules is less difficult to enforce and more likely to be remembered. Next to the rules, write down the consequences for breaking them. Make sure the punishments are reasonable and that you are willing to enforce them. Review the rules regularly so all including mum and Dad-know exactly what is expected of them.


5. ESTABLISH AND MAINTAIN ROUTINES

Life is hectic. Many parents work long hours, so they may have little time to spend with their children on a regular basis. Routines are major part of adult life. Work, worship and even recreation usually follow set routines. Parents handicap their children if they don’t teach them how to structure their time and to stick to a schedule. On the other hand, studies show that “having rules and structure makes a child feel safe secure and teaches self control and self-reliance”. Families can wisely make it a habit to eat at least one meal a day together. To establish this habit, meal times may need to be a little flexible to accommodate unforeseen delays.


6. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR CHILD’S FEELINGS

Children are prone to express their thoughts and emotions in extreme terms. True, some of what children say is unsettling for parents to hear. For example a frustrated child may say” I HATE MY LIFE” A parents instinctive response may be “NO YOU DON’T”. Parents may worry that acknowledging a child’s negative feelings and thoughts amounts to condoning them. Children want and need the most important people in their lives-their parents to know how they feel. IF parents habitually contradict their children when such feelings are expressed, the children will be less likely to open up to them and may even doubt their ability to feel and think for themselves. Children as well as adults are far more likely to accept counsel if they feel that the one offering it truly understands them and the difficulties they face.

7. TEACH BY EXAMPLE

Actions teach, words often impact only information. For example, parents may tell their children to be respectful and always tell the truth. However, if these same parents scream at each other or at their children and tell lies to excuse themselves from inconvenient obligations ,they teach that this is how adults should behave. Strive to be good-not perfect –examples. And use your occasional poor behavior to teach a positive lesson. If a parent losses temper with the children or made a bad decision that adversely affected them, admit the mistake and apologise. This will teach the children that parents make mistakes and that we all need to work to improve our conduct .And the children will learn to apologize when they make mistakes too.